Now
I bring it all upon myself.
To take me home again.
Make me whole again.
Make me numb again.
Teach me love again.
You left me standing here.
You left me incapacitated.

A muffled shriek drew Spike's attention scarcely a minute after Fred had gone upstairs with the packets of near-expired blood the blonde vampire had liberated from the local Red Cross.

Bounding up the stairs three at a time, Spike froze in the doorway of Angel's bedroom,  his eyes unable to believe what they were seeing.

Angel had Fred pinned against the wall, his face buried in her neck. Soft, wet sounds evidenced that Fred was perilously close to dying at the hands-or fangs, rather- of one of her most trusted friends.

Fighting his own instincts at the scent of fresh blood, Spike stepped in and looped one arm around Angel's waist, his other hand sliding up the larger man's chin to rest under the elder vampire's upper jaw.

Yanking Angel away from Fred, Spike kept a firm grip on the dark-haired man's jaw to keep his fangs from ripping Fred's throat out as he was torn away.

Angel let out a sound that was more animal than human and spun in Spike's grip, making the blonde vampire lose his balance and toppling them both to the floor.

Angel landed on top, instinctively taking advantage of his position to pin the younger vampire down and sink his fangs into Spike's throat.

Spike yelped, and though his first reaction was to fight against the older vampire, he forced himself to relax and let Angel drink, knowing that vampire blood was much stronger than that of any human, except the Slayer.

Fred huddled in the corner, her knees drawn up to her chest, shaking, her eyes wide and frightened.


You left me wasted here.
You left me incapacitated.
You bring it all upon yourself.
To take you home again.
Make you whole again.
Make you numb again.
Teach you love again.

Just as the blonde began to worry that maybe Angel wouldn't stop until he'd taken everything Spike had to give, leaving him an empty, dried out husk, not dead, but unable to live, the dark-haired vampire seemed to come back to himself with a jolt.

Angel pulled away from Spike's neck with something startlingly close to a whimper, his brown eyes shocked and horrified as he quickly scrambled away from the younger vampire until his back hit a wall and he could go no further.

Dark eyes scanned the room, stopping cold on the hunched, trembling form of Fred, who met Angel's gaze with a slight flinch, her hand going to her neck, which was seeping blood still.

“No.” It was a harsh, disbelieving whisper from Angel's throat, and for a moment, Spike wondered if Angel would actually vomit up the blood he'd taken from them both.

Spike sat up, slightly dizzy himself, and blinked to clear his vision before he began to crawl slowly toward the older vampire.

“It's alright, Peaches. We're both fine,” Spike said, approaching Angel cautiously.

Angel buried his head in his hands. “Oh, God.”

Reaching the vampire that was his Sire in every way that mattered, Spike put his hands on Angel's shoulders, shaking him slightly. “ `Ey, look at me, you sod.”

Angel raised teary eyes to the blonde, a haunted look on his face.

Piercing blue eyes bored into dark brown as Spike shook Angel again. “We're okay, ya poof. Look at `er,” he said, reaching out and turning Angel's face with a hand on his chin.

“Fred's scared, but she'll live. An' I'd wager she's more scared for you than she is for herself. You didn't hurt her, y'know. Just shook `er up a bit. Red Cross woulda taken more blood than you got from `er,” Spike told him.

“I attacked her,” Angel whispered harshly, his voice harsh from so long without being used.

“And she'll recover in a day,” Spike told him blithely. “You didn't consciously attack `er, Angel. You don't want `er dead now, an' you didn't then, either. You weren't yourself. She'll forgive you. She didn't know any better than to get too close when you've been starvin' for months, Angel. It was a mistake, that's all. And she's alive.”

Fred, having stopped shaking, gave Angel a tremulous smile. “Next time, I'll just cut myself and bring it to you in a glass,” she said. “It'd be less messy,” she told him, making light of the blood that had dripped onto her white blouse.

That startled a laugh out of the dark-haired vampire before he realized he'd made the happy sound and looked guilty once more.

Spike whapped Angel lightly upside the head. “Quit yer brooding, Peaches. We've got souls, not omniscience.”


You left me standing here.
You left me wasted here.
You left me incapacitated.

At Spike's words, Angel's eyes widened and he stared at the blonde, a shell-shocked expression on his face.

Spike gave him a wilted version of his usual smirk. “I shoulda known better than to be vague with a demon. Blighter gave me exactly what I asked for.”

“When?”

Spike sighed. “Two weeks ago, in Kampala. Miserable little burg, really. Went to get the chip outta my head, passed the bloody Trials, an' then I mucked up the wordin' on my reward, an' I'm now the owner of a shiny new soul. Kinda ironic, innit?”

Angel gave a slightly strained chuckle. “Must be something in the water.”

Spike nodded. “Must be,” he conceded.

Standing, Spike held his hand out to Angel. “C'mon. Let's go downstairs. I've got a feelin' we'll need more room for this conversation. I'd like to be outta arm's reach,  if you don't mind.”

Angel frowned, but took Spike's hand and pulled himself to his feet. “You say that like you think I'll try to kill you.”

Spike shrugged. “You probably will, once I tell you what happened. `Sides, the First Aid kit's downstairs on the counter, an' Fred needs a bandage.”

The guilty look returned to Angel's face, prompting another light slap from Spike. “Cut it out, wanker. Go downstairs an' get the bandages ready. I'll attend the chit.”

Giving Spike a strange look, Angel complied, leaving Fred and Spike alone.

“You alright, pet?”

Fred started to nod, then seemed to think about the question. “I think so. It was just a little unexpected,” she said. “I mean, I always knew he was a vampire. I just didn't know, you know?”

Spike laughed. “I think so. C'mon, let's get you taken care of.”

Fred gave him a timid smile, then followed him downstairs to get her bite mark seen to.

I am purified by tears.
This is my rehabilitation.
You left me wasted here.
You left me incapacitated.